You Over there in the mirror, come here.
Sleep is ravaging my eyes. The bed is calling out to my heart. Come home Bwak. Come home to me. I can feel the duvet above me, the sheets beneath. Best of all, I can see the rolling waves of sleep sweeping over my spirit as I sink into that place of blissful indifference where am not even aware of myself.
But I cannot swim away into sleep now. I must trudge on in this task that remains etched on my hands. This blog post has to be written. This article has to be finished. This report must be concluded. I do not have the luxury of respite. Pause cannot be pressed as the play must go on.
Why am soldiering on even when the battlefield is empty? Why am I racing after Goliath yet he is the one chasing me? Are we going round in circles. Must I make a U turn? Should I just halt and turn around? Maybe the other direction will lead me to the river, away from the furnace of futile toil. Oh, the urge to find another way of reaching there. Reaching where? To that destination that wills still my silent rage at everything and nothing.
My eyes have slammed shut. Like the toilet door when nature’s call is screaming at you. Am streaming away from here. I would rather be there, not here. I want to stand up and walk away; to just go. So I am standing up and walking away. Just going. But when I reach there my heart returns from whence I came. My mind races on to that other place, that I cannot be at the moment. Because I am here.
Then I realize that. I realize nothing. I want something. I need someone. Someone like you. The one in the mirror. I need you to be present here. You over there in the mirror, come here.
But how can I come there when you don’t want me. How can be with you when you would rather be away from me. Can water flow upstream? Can wind still be wind if it slows down into a breeze? Can a hurricane and a drizzle live together under the same roof?
Stop just staring at me the mirror. Turn your gaze inward and see me. Feel me. Feed me. Feast on me. Fists cannot scoop water. Open your arms and embrace me. Open your heart and invite me. Look at me. Not the me in the mirror but the me in you. Hold my hand and don’t run away from me.